So, if you know me in 'real' life, you know that I am, as some say, blessed in the chest.
Only I don't consider it a blessing anymore.
Warning! This post is very personal and I talk about a private body part of mine. Please feel free to move on if you are sensitive to this subject.
photo via flickr by Mike Liche
I am large chested, and believe me when I say, it is cumbersome. To be exact, my breasts are a size 44 H.
There are several problems with having large breasts and I have experienced all of them, some on a very regular basis:
~Rashes under the breasts and in between in the 'cleavage'. These rashes burn, itch and ache.
~Yeast infections in between the breasts and under. This is extremely embarrassing and very painful and hard to prevent and rid yourself of.
~Back, neck and shoulder pain. Even headaches. I have actually physical deformities in my back and neck from carrying around the girls that you can see on an x-ray.
~Breathing difficulties. You may laugh, but it's true. I have a hard time breathing because of the weight of them both at night while I am sleeping and during the day. This was confirmed by a sleep study and blood tests as well as breathing tests to determine if it was caused by a lung disease. The 'asthma' I thought I had is not-I have no underlying lung issue..it is simply the weight of my breasts that causes asthma like symptoms and high levels of CO2 in my blood.
~Shoulder pain caused by the straps digging in. I have a permanent groove in my shoulder from wearing bras.
~I worry about one thing especially; my breasts make it difficult to feel for lumps because of their size and density
~besides the physical issues, there is the self esteem issues.
You may think to yourself, "How in the world could a woman with large breasts have self esteem issues about them?! Doesn't she feel great having what all women seem to want?"
This is how a lot of people react.
But to be frank, it's not what it's cracked up to be.
I can't fit in most women's tops unless I buy a significantly larger size than I should normally wear. As a teenager and young woman, the men all thought I was "easy" and the girls hated on me. It was assumed I was loose simply because of my chest size.
No matter what I wear, I have cleavage. This is terrible especially when you are as modest as I am.
People like to point out my chest size and I am often the butt of jokes.
People think they have a right to ask my chest size.
Men often stare at my breasts instead of my face when meeting me or talking to me. They think I don't notice, but I do.
Exercising is painful. Its not only painful because I am out of shape, but its nearly impossible to buy a supportive sports bra in my size. It physically hurts to have them unsupported while exercising.
Say goodbye to cute swimsuits, cute bras (in a reasonable price range), cute tops and dresses.
That is only a SHORT list of things I encounter that make me suffer from self esteem issues related to my chest size.
But all is not lost!
I have a 'BIG' announcement coming soon! Stay tuned!