Tuesday, March 27, 2012

What does God think of my mental illness?

Now that I have a following, I am a bit afraid to open myself up to this topic: Mental Illness. I feel I must today because it is laying on my heart heavily and I feel I need to be transparent to my readers so they can see my person-hood, my vulnerability.

I suffer from mental illness. I have bipolar disorder (schizo-affective disorder to be specific). I also suffer from daily panic attacks. I take prescribed medication. There, I said it. Hopefully my vulnerability didn't scare you off. I often struggle with wanting to please people and keep this hidden (a sin I am very well aware of-wanting to please man).

The question that always makes me wonder, though, is what does my Father in heaven think of my mental illness and what does his word say about it? Often, my illness leads me into sin. This is not to say that I am using it as an excuse, but more a reason and I try very hard to be self aware and correcting in my behavior. This not only helps me grow as a person, but as a Christian.

The Bible says, in 2 Timothy 1:7, "For I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of one of love and sound mind."

I often repeat this to myself on my tough days because I often do not view myself as having a sound mind. I wonder, sometimes, why does God say I have a "sound mind", when medically speaking, I do not? I have yet to answer that question or find the answer to that question, completely, but I know when I reach out to him, he gives me the sound mind I am looking for in the moment.

I wonder, and honestly sometimes even feel anger at God. Why does he choose not to heal me from it? I know God has a plan for me. I know he does; this is written deep in my soul. I just have to cling to the knowledge of this and know that HE IS and He knows what he is doing.

The good thing is, God knows my heart. He knows my struggles and He is always there to comfort me. His word says so.

Psalm 34:17-20

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

I have been suffering from a bout of depression as of late. I have called out to God and the Son and I have felt their presence. I will continue to do so.


  1. I think we all have our own battles to overcome in this life, and God wants us to use these battles as a way to draw closer to him. I myself battle with depression, I have since I was 12. Sometimes I do feel hopeless, but other times I feel fine. Your doing the right thing by reaching out to God. And remember this will pass.

  2. One of my latest teachings that God has taught me is that mental illness is part of ones body make up like having PCOS. My body has a lot of health issues that can trigger a chemical imbalance in my stress harmonies which will lead to anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. A thing that comforts me a lot is that knowing when I get to heaven I will be free of these earthly imperfections. By dealing with these issues through him with the tools he gives me it makes me stronger in him.
    It is a season that shall pass. Remember that.

  3. Several people very close to me suffer from Bipolar II Disorder. I believe that all our shortcomings, whether they are mental illness or physical disability or even addiction, are designed to help us realize was all need God. None of us are perfect.

  4. Thank you all for your comments and feedback. I really appreciate your uplifting and support!

  5. I could write a novel on the things I'd love to tell you, to comfort you.
    Father knows the beginning and the end. Your mental illness, mine, and others, was never part of his will.
    I feel the love of Mary taking her hair covering off, pouring the jar of nard on Jesus and wiping his feet with her hair when I am deepest in depression. I bare my soul, my naked soul to him. And in my weak Earthly body, in your weak Earthly body, when we reach out to him we are made strong. Stronger even than those who seem mentally okay and don't reach out to him. Praise the Almighty, Praise him, lay on the floor, wipe your hair on his feet, bare your soul in praise! Although I am married happily, Jesus is my husband spiritually and he loves me during my lowest times and when I sin during my depression and anxiety. He loves you and he is using your mental illness to bring his plan of salvation to others by how you praise him and share what God has done for you. It strengthens your friends and my faith! You may not know it but God is using your mental illness for good! It will all come together some day and you may not see it for a long time! I love you dear girl! Many of us are suffering and want to help bear your burdens, too! It makes us feel better to love each other and uplift each other, it's okay to be transparent about disabilities.

  6. Thank you for your words, Natalie. I have been under so much stress lately and I am just about at my limit. I have been having daily panic attacks and leaning on God quite a bit. I feel like I am about to break down. He is my rock, though.

  7. Thank you very much for this. All too often I hear that mental illness is not really an illness, it's sin or evil. I have felt for so many years that my anxiety and depression was my fault because I wasn't a strong enough Christian. I have struggled this way since early childhood. I loathed myself and even God at times because I didn't understand, but now I'm accepting it and acknowleding that everyone has a battle. Thank you for your honesty, we all need to be more honest instead of trying to put off the perfect Christian life that doesn't exist.



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